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I´m In Love

OMG I´m so much in Love.

Look at her. My precious pretty little honey bunny. I love her eyebrows and I asked her to marry me and she said YES.

We are getting married next week and we are going to invite the whole Velociraptor community.

The below picture is taken through a see through mirror when she was trying on the dress.

Anyone is invited. The ceremony will be in the Grand Canyon. There should be ample room for playtime afterwards and human snacks wandering the trails.

Bat yourself

Just look at what we can do. 1 velociraptor will scare you, but a herd will scare the living daylights out of even Batman. 

Some hate me

February 4, 2013

I knew it was a controversial decision. Once I took the oath of entering the velociraptor apprenticeship there was no looking back. And I have to admit that all days are not always as rosy red as it may seem.

I do get teased with my appearance a lot. Obviously that is because I AM DIFFERENT and LOOK DIFFERENT. I am 80% transformed to a velociraptor. You can still see my human resemblance by my saggy balls and hairy back. But it should soon be a thing of the past.

On the street lots of people shout curse words at me and I also overhear people. They may not know that velociraptors actually have the hearing of a Blue Whale under water. We can almost hear across continents but on land. It´s a pretty neat ability.

But the other day I lost my temper when I heard someone in Africa say "I hate it when velociraptors pee in our village well and throws mud at my hut". I´m like dude, that is not us. That´s the T-Rex. Get your facts straight. So I told him to fill in the blank and he has promised to do so.

 

fitblanks.com

 

But in a years time, this will all be worth it. Then my mission is finally complete and I promise to have a hell of a party. Everyone with an open mind is invited.

Welcome to my velociraptor website

Many of you have been following my story for a long time now. It has been 6 years already and I am soon at my final destination. Being a Velociraptor Apprentice has been a huge experience for me and I am looking forward to becoming a true member of this fantastic species in a little over a year.

My skin is still in transition and can mostly be characterized as crocodile crossed with elephant skin. It´s fantastic. 

I am also growing a tail, it is almost 1 meters now. The VelociElders say that I still have another ½ meter on the tail to grow. Then I can seriously whip some tail! Haha. 

Oh, and my teeth are also becoming razor sharp. Dracula go home. I could suck the life out of you anytime.

And my claws are also forming nicely. I can puncture the tires of a 18 wheeler truck with one slice of the paw. It´s really fun but the truckers don´t like it so much. Ah well, the velociraptor fun has only just begun.